SPECIAL TOPIC: INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

OPENING THOUGHTS
1. God created man for fellowship. This shows us God's desire. Man is made in His image and needs fellowship also (cf. Gen. 2:18).
2. There is a tension between self and others (cf. Gen. 3:8-13). This tension forms the basis of interpersonal relationships.
3. God loves each of us individually but He also loves mankind collectively. We must also follow this dichotomy. We must love ourselves (Lev. 19:18; Matt. 22:37-40; Mark 12:28-34; Rom. 13:9) but also others (I Cor. 10:24; 13:5; Phil. 2:2ff). Personal filfullment must be linked to God's larger purpose (Gal. 4:19; Phil. 2:21).
4. Scripture is primarily a relational book not just a doctrinal guide book or systematic theology. It will give us examples which are meant to form principles (example: John 13:34 — a new standard for love). The Old and New Testaments must be viewed in a progressive as well as foundational relationship (cf. Matt. 5:17ff).
5. How God acts is how we should act. However, God knows men's hearts and, therefore, knows we do not relate to others in a trusting and forgiving way. People are priority. We must not let ourselves become the focus or center of all things.
6. Proverbs forms a unique revelational model for practical daily guidelines for interpersonal relationships. The following illustrations may be helpful:
PRINCIPLES FROM PROVERBS ON RELATIONSHIPS
1. Between God and man
  1. the key is reverential respect—1:7; 9:10; 14:16-17
  2. God's truth is to be pursued—1:29-33; 15:32-33
  3. fear of the Lord leads to life—14:27; 19:23; 22:4
2. Between man and parents
  1. children should learn from their parents—1:8ff; 4:1ff (Deut. 6); 13:1
  2. children should not curse, assault or rob their parents
    1. 20:20; 30:11-14
    2. 29:26
    3. 28:24
  3. children should bring joy to parents, not grief
    1. 10:1; 15:20; 27:11; 29:3
    2. 17:21, 25; 10:1; 19:13
3. Between man and wife
  1. Proverbs seems to support monogamy—5:15-23
  2. marriage is viewed as a covenant with God—2:17
  3. sexual fidelity advocated—2:17-19; 6:24-7:5
  4. worth of a wife—12:4; 18:22; 19:14; 31:10-31
  5. sorrow of broken relationship—19:13; 21:9, 19; 27:15
4. Between man and children
  1. need for discipline—10:13; 13:24; 15:32; 19:18; 22:6, 15; 23:14; 29:15
  2. teach the fear of the Lord—14:26-27; 15:32-33
5. Between man and relatives
  1. avoid strife—6:19; 19:19
  2. good friends are often better than relatives—18:24; 27:10
6. Between man and covenant partner
  1. wicked covenant partner—1:10-19; 13:20; 14:7
  2. friend or neighbor (covenant partner)
    1. positive
      (1) 10:11 (fountain of life)
      (2) 12:25 (give help and guidance to neighbor)
      (3) 17:17 (a friend loves at all times)
      (4) 18:24 (a friend stays close)
      (5) 27:10 (a good friend who is close is better than a brother who is far away)
    2. negative
      (1) 3:27-30 (do not devise evil plans)
      (2) 14:21; 26:18-19 (do not gossip)
      (3) 25:27 (do not visit too often or stay too long)
      (4) 27:20 (do not be light-hearted around those in sorrow)
CLOSING THOUGHTS
1. Proverbs emphasizes success but acknowledges that having less, but with love, is best (15:17; 17:1).
2. Proverbs must be balanced with the New Testament. There is a development from "love your neighbor" to "love even as I have loved you" (John 13:34).
3. People are priority with God! They must also be so with His children (I John 4:20-21)!